But never mind that folderol. Instead of claiming a seat in one of the dining rooms, I prefer to indulge my carnal pleasures at the bar, where a fat glass of Cabernet and a fatter steak are always within easy reach. The men who work the Bern’s bar are old-school. Order a bourbon neat and you earn three fingers of the good stuff. Request a rib eye and you get a learned disquisition on the virtues of dry-aged beef. Ask for a reasonably priced glass of red and you win a perfect pour of Côtes du Rhône and a short history of France, told without pomposity.

Follow the lead of a tender and you’ll learn that the dry-aged and pleasantly ferrous-tasting hunk of cow-flesh perfection you ordered comes with a veal-stock-based French onion soup, a salad drenched in a lava flow of blue cheese dressing, vegetables harvested from Bern’s very own farm, and a fork-fluffed baked potato that begs for six pats of butter.

Speaking of money, Bern’s is not often heralded as a frugal eater’s haunt. It can be, however, if you settle for those complimentary accompaniments, instead of upgrading to Caesars and such. My last check totaled $70, including a couple of glasses of wine and a generous tip, which, as measured by both wallet and palate, makes Bern’s a gilt-bedecked bargain. 

MUST EATS: Other steak standard-bearers
The Angus Barn, Raleigh, NC
Open since 1960, this truss-roofed restaurant serves shrimp cocktail without irony and chateaubriand cuts lavished with béarnaise. angusbarn.com

Bone's Restaurant, Atlanta, GA
Atlanta was built on business deals. Bone's is the clubby enclave where business elites swig martinis and fork bone-in filets. bonesrestaurant.com

Doe's Eat Place, Greenville, MS
The original Doe's, founded in 1941, is famous for gargantuan steaks, hand-rolled tamales, and BYOB drinks. doeseatplace.com