It’s easy to imagine how giving a 100-year-old their own Twitter feed could go horribly wrong. But when the 100-year-old tweeter is MoonPie, the Chattanooga-born marshmallow sandwich, the resulting social media experience is nothing short of magnificent.
MoonPie’s tweets are equal parts wisdom …
It’s 2017 you love who you love https://t.co/FQYdr2OqKG
— MoonPie (@MoonPie) December 1, 2017
… and wisecracks.
Hangry? Well what I like to do is fill a beautiful yet affordable piñata with a few MoonPies and then I swing for the freakin fences next question
— MoonPie (@MoonPie) December 11, 2017
When you’ve been making MoonPies for 100 years you might also make a few enemies which is why we watch half an hour of karate videos on the first Tuesday of every month
— MoonPie (@MoonPie) December 4, 2017
Sometimes, MoonPie is a shoulder to cry on.
Some days you’re the moon and other days you’re the pie not real sure what that means but if you’re feeling sad we can talk about it
— MoonPie (@MoonPie) November 21, 2017
Or a pen pal.
(Click tweet to see more)
But mostly, MoonPie’s tweets are just tough love.
If no one RSVP’s to your house party try switching the name of the party to “MoonPie House Party” and see if that helps otherwise it’s time to come to grips with the reality that your house just isn’t that fun
— MoonPie (@MoonPie) December 8, 2017
With nearly 58,000 followers, MoonPie is also what they call a social media “influencer,” like TED Talks or the Kardashians if they were also dipped in chocolate. This tweet got more than 16,000 retweets and 43,000 likes.
It’s as good a day as any to stick a MoonPie in the microwave light a couple candles and scream into a soft pillow
— MoonPie (@MoonPie) November 30, 2017
And when MoonPie told everyone to wish this cat named MoonPie happy birthday, 2,800 people did it.
Happy birthday MoonPie she seems like a very good cat
— MoonPie (@MoonPie) December 12, 2017
One thing you’ll rarely see in MoonPie’s tweets is punctuation.
Should you ever encounter a space alien hold off on telling them about MoonPies at first because while it seems like a relatable topic to discuss it could come off as incredibly offensive to them we honestly don’t have all the facts yet
— MoonPie (@MoonPie) December 7, 2017
Since it’s hard to believe that MoonPie never learned grammar in all of those 100 years, we can assume that MoonPie is choosing not to punctuate, like the kids do. Or maybe it’s because MoonPie has no thumbs? We can only guess on this one.
So if you ever wished that big moon face on the package could talk to you from your lunchbox, or if you are estranged from your parents but still need some good advice that might hurt your feelings sometimes, but is still good advice, may we suggest you follow MoonPie on Twitter ASAP?
But here’s a pro tip: Never, under any circumstances, underestimate MoonPie on Twitter, because MoonPie will absolutely bury you. It happened to us.
And it really happened to Hostess.
Prolific, delicious, and not afraid to talk back. MoonPie, we salute you.