Let’s be real: One of the best things about the Kentucky Derby is learning all of the horses’ names, and this year’s crop of contenders didn’t disappoint. So instead of digging into betting odds, we reimagined the horses as guests at a party. Who are you rooting for?
Wonder Dean: the charismatic host
Chief Wallabee: the one who dominates every conversation
Golden Tempo: the playlist hog
Renegade: the one who shows up late and may not have been invited
Danon Bourbon: the one who brought the good stuff
Emerging Market: the one who keeps bringing up the economy
Silent Tactic: the one waiting for the perfect moment to spill the tea
Albus: the stuffy but loveable academic
Intrepido: the one who barges into conversation, and might be wearing a dumb hat
Litmus Test: the one who is quietly judging everyone
Six Speed: the one who probably brought mood enhancers
Right to Party: the sure bet to get the dance floor started
Commandment: the one who’s worried about getting a noise complaint
So Happy: the bubbly one with pain in their eyes
The Puma: the well-traveled bad boy
Potente: the one who keeps refilling your wine glass
Pavlovian: the one who got a little overserved once and now avoids Danon Bourbon
Great White: the elderly guest who’s the life of the party
Incredibolt: the one who disappears without a word of goodbye
And the one throwing the afterparty? That’ll be Further Ado.
Lindsey Liles joined Garden & Gun in 2020 after completing a master’s in literature in Scotland and a Fulbright grant in Brazil. The Arkansas native is G&G’s digital reporter, covering all aspects of the South, and she especially enjoys putting her biology background to use by writing about wildlife and conservation. She lives on Johns Island, South Carolina.
