When your mother is the beloved Charleston, South Carolina, interior designer Kathleen Rivers, it’s hard not to inherit the creative gene—though it took her daughter, Palmer Weiss, time to realize it. Rivers, whose work helped define classic Southern style for more than four decades, is still consulting, with projects in the South. In speaking with Weiss—now a decorating icon herself, based in San Francisco—so much of her and Rivers’s creative connection reminded me of the one I share with my interior-designing mother (a relationship dear to my heart that I also explore in my book The House Romantic). Here, Weiss relates how her mother and Charleston influenced her, how her aesthetic veers from (and swerves toward) Rivers’s, and what she tells her own daughters about the pull of design.
What was your childhood like in Charleston?
Charleston is a magical place to grow up. You are immersed in beauty every day. Spending my childhood there allowed me to absorb an education in aesthetics by osmosis.
Because my mom was a designer, I spent a lot of time tagging along on her work without even realizing it. After school, we’d stop by antique rug vendors, visit markets, pop by a job site, or shop for some art. It was just part of the day and what I thought you did after school, like getting an ice cream cone.
What really shaped me was my mom’s appreciation and wonder for beauty in all its forms. From as early as I can remember, she was always pointing out the wonder in the world: a flower in bloom, the way the light hit a building, or a unique piece of art. She was genuinely tickled by beauty and very vocal about it. That constant awareness of my surroundings is something that I’ve carried with me.
When did you know you wanted to follow in her footsteps?
I did not grow up thinking I’d be a designer, and probably avoided it as a career path for many years. But as I tell my daughters, the force is strong within us, so you can’t hide! I was always drawn to the treasure hunt aspect of it—going to Scott’s Flea Market in Atlanta at five a.m., or pulling over on the way to the mountains at a roadside antique shack. That thrill of finding something special stuck with me and eventually led me into my career now.
I was thirty-one years old and had tried just about every other career. I actually studied the history of architecture and art in college and was truthfully more drawn to architecture than interiors. But at the time, it just felt like something I appreciated, not something I’d ever do professionally. Kind of like loving to watch sports, but never thinking you’ll become a pro athlete!
I spent years trying out other careers that I thought would be more reasonable for me, but my attention always drifted back to homes, architecture, and art. Eventually, out of exasperation, I thought, Why not just try the thing I actually love and see what happens?
What about your mother’s design sense inspired you from a young age?
My mom has a way of creating a warm and inviting environment no matter the setting. She is a very gregarious person and loves to entertain and to laugh—and that comes through in her spaces. Her designs are always beautiful and glamorous, but at the end of the day, they all make you feel welcome.
That’s something I really carry with me. I can appreciate sleek, modern spaces, but I wouldn’t want to live in them—and that’s not what my clients are hiring me for either. I don’t believe a home should feel like a museum or only look pretty on the pages of a glossy magazine. They are meant to be the vessel for a very full life that is hopefully filled with friends, family, dogs, and laughter.
Additionally, my mom truly embraced the beauty of the high-low mix. She’s never been a snob about needing things to have a perfect pedigree or be in pristine condition. It’s about how something feels in a space and whether it works in the mix—and I think that sensibility rubbed off on me early.
How did you separate her aesthetic from what you wanted to do in your own practice?
It honestly wasn’t hard for me to develop my own aesthetic. I left home at seventeen and have lived in California for most of my adult life. My mom is a Southerner through and through, and while I was raised in Charleston, I really grew into adulthood out here.
Living in San Francisco has had a huge influence on me—the light, the culture, even what people want out of their homes is completely different from the Carolinas. That said, our work overlaps the most in mountain settings. Neither of us gravitated toward some of the more popular styles of a Ralph Lauren log cabin look or the mountain modern vibe. Mom has spent every summer in the mountains of North Carolina and developed such a strong style that honors the heritage of the place without succumbing to any clichés. These projects have chic color palettes, incredible art, and her signature warmth. Her mountain homes from twenty years ago still feel timeless today, and I absolutely went to school on her sensibilities.
What’s the best piece of wisdom, design or otherwise, that she’s shared with you?
There are two that have really stuck with me. First, she’s always had perspective when it comes to the stress of this business. Interior design can feel really intense at times—people get wound up over decisions, budgets, and timelines. But she always reminds me: “No one’s ever died in an interior design accident.” My husband is a cardiologist, and I know way more stressed-out designers than I do doctors. It’s a helpful reminder to keep things in perspective.
I am also inspired by her commitment to the end result. She’s basically the Energizer Bunny—she will not sit down until every last picture is hung. The final push, the last ten percent, is where she shines, and I hear her voice in my head every time I’m about to crater at the end of a project. That drive to finish strong is something I carry with me every day.
